Family Views Print

Family members of Veteran with PTSD have a diminished sense of well being and complain about feeling emotionally distant, frightened by outbursts of anger, or frustrated by the isolation and watchfulness the Veteran imposes. The veterans' family's views of PTSD often are:

  • He tries so hard to be perfect that he can not admit when he makes a mistake or needs help.
  • He tries to enjoy being with us but his heart is not in it and his mind is always somewhere else.
  • For him, every problem is a disaster and we are slow, stupid and never careful or tough enough.
  • It is his duty to behave honorably, so I do not want to shame him by knowing I know he is suffering.

Remember, PTSD makes many veterans appear to be angry, remote or distrustful. Their anger is not about you. Their anger may be part of their PTSD, as well as a legitimate response to past frustrations with the Veterans Administration or health-care facilities, the government, the military, or the inability to return to the mainstream of culture. You can recognize and tactfully express concern for their feeling of betrayal due to injustices done them as individuals and as a nation. "It is a huge factor."

 
More Family Views Print
Unlike previous conflicts, Vietnam was an unpopular war that provided little meaning or social approval for the soldier. While Vietnam-related PTSD was, and is, a reaction to the extreme stress many soldiers faced during that war, it is also a reaction to the events that followed, such as the lack of support they encountered after coming home. Hence, after these soldiers faced the violence and death of war, homecoming was less than a hero's welcome, punctuated more by social ridicule than by praise or even acceptance. If you can, please, take a few moments and listen to their description of their symptoms. Even if they say very little, you have shown a rare form of respect which may enable them to begin to trust you enough to tell you more later, or to accept your regimen. Your careful and respectful attention to their medical evaluation and care means far more than any attempt to sympathize, apologize or attempt to argue them out of a sense of past injustices and future distrust.
 
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